LITTLE THINGS - PART III

By Bob Connor

The Exercise of Courtesy and Its Rewards

Definition: Courtesy (n) - 1) Excellence of manners or social conduct; polite behavior    2) a courteous, respectful, or considerate act or expression.*

-Dictionary.com

The economic law of supply and demand dictates that if there is greater demand for something, the supply will rise to meet that demand. Also, of course, the price or value of that item will increase since there is a greater demand for it. The supplier will realize that the receiver will be willing to pay more for it.

I am here to tell you that there are abundant opportunities to supply something which is in great demand, which costs nothing, but which brings great rewards to the supplier. Imagine that! It costs you nothing, but if you supply it to someone who wants it (and virtually everyone does), you will receive a reward. Thus, even through the cold lens of economics, there is great opportunity here.

There is a catch, however, the supplier must realize that there is a demand. If the supplier does not recognize the demand for what he has to supply, then he will not supply it and will, alas, not receive the reward.

It is my observation that courtesy is in short supply but in very great demand and that many persons do not realize the rewards that can be had by supplying it.

Here is my "Top Ten List" of courtesies - in no particular order - that can be supplied by virtually everyone:

1) Give adequate notice when you resign from a job.

2) Call in as soon as you know that you are not going to come to work or that you will be late.

3) Call to cancel an appointment when you are not able to be there.

4) If you are in a job (such as waitress or store clerk), perform your job with a positive attitude and treat your customers as you would want to be treated.

5) Don*t use your employer's time for personal matters.

6) Thank each and every person who gives you a gift on any occasion - even if it requires that you call them or send them a note.

7) Take time to help people who need your help.

8) Clean up your own messes.

9) Respect the environment - do all you can to preserve it.

10) Consider the impact on others of all your actions.

Okay, so what will your rewards be? This is a hard list to compile, because there are infinite permutations of the feelings and other rewards that you might receive. But, here is an attempt at a broad list:

1) You will experience the warm, fuzzy feeling in some degree that you have "done the right thing."

2) You will impress the person that you supply the courtesy to and earn their respect - they may return the favor of a courtesy.

3) Others may follow your example - you can change the behavior of others simply by setting that proverbial "good example."

4) If you are a wait person, you may receive a larger tip.

5) You will probably have less trouble obtaining a reference letter from your employer - and the letter will probably be more complimentary.

6) Most people will be more courteous to you (not everyone will appreciate your courtesy to them).

7) Respecting the environment will enhance your enjoyment of it and will leave your own personal contribution to a more livable earth for future generations.

8) You will eliminate or reduce the harm that your actions might do to others.

9) You will be more productive in your job resulting in greater job satisfaction and possibly a promotion or raise or both.

10) You will enhance another person*'s life if you let them know that you appreciated a gift (and you will probably keep receiving gifts from that person - but, please don't do it for this reason).

So many people just don't realize that their actions usually impact others. If a person quits a job without giving notice, or simply doesn't show up for work, other employees must work harder (often for no extra pay) to cover for that person. The employer is disadvantaged by having to scramble to cover for that employee and to find a replacement in haste. If an employee fails to call in that he or she is not coming to work that day or is going to be late, this puts a strain on the employer and fellow employees and any person that tardy or absent person was supposed to serve that day. Few things make an employer more upset with an employee than the employee simply not showing up for work and not calling in or quitting without giving notice.

Many do not realize that using an employer's time on personal matters (e.g. surfing the net or talking to friends on the phone during work hours that the employer is paying for) is stealing. Remember that commandment that Moses received?

Some forget that the earth and everything in it (including us) are God*'s creation and that we own nothing. We are only caretakers of His creations. We must do a good job of caring for the earth or we will do great harm to ourselves and to future generations.

Often, we take actions without considering the impact on others. We don't clean up our own messes - like not disposing of garbage properly or leaving trash where others have to pick it up. We don't fulfill our promises to others proving to them that they cannot depend on us. We don't "do our part" or "get our job done" and someone else is more burdened by having to "take up the slack" that we left.

We receive gifts or other courtesies and don't bother to thank the giver. Think. How does that make the giver feel? What have you done to your relationship if you fail to supply this small courtesy which costs you nothing?

No one is born with experience and knowledge. There is a "first time" for everything for every person. Help people to learn as you were once helped to learn.

Courtesies are "Little Things" with big impacts. The opportunity for your benefit and for the benefit of others is there in abundance - identify it, acknowledge it, and take advantage of it.

"Manners are of more importance than laws. Manners are what vex or soothe, corrupt or purify, exalt or debase, barbarize or refine us, by a constant, steady, uniform, insensible operation, like that of the air we breathe in."         Edmund Burke (1729-1797)

Bob Connor is a continuing education teacher at St. Ambrose Catholic Church. You can reach him at bobconn@earthlink.com